It’s been a long long time since my last post — things have been super hectic for me and my schedule’s been really erratic — but I’ve found the time to talk about a topic that really urks me. You guessed it: big market beers and their endless budgets that are used to brainwash America (the title of this post should have given it away).

Arrogance Welcome

This post is largely inspired by a paragraph I read on the back of a Stone Brewery’s Oaked Arrogant Bastard Ale which made me laugh and cry at the same time. Here’s that paragraph now…

“Arrogant Bastard Ale: This is an aggressive beer. You probably won’t like it. It is quite doubtful that you have the taste or sophistication to be able to appreciate an ale of this quality and depth. We would suggest that you stick to safer and more familiar territory — maybe something with a multi-million dollar ad campaign aimed at convincing you it’s made in a little brewery, or one that implies that their tasteless fizzy yellow beer will give you more sex appeal. Perhaps you think multi-million dollar ad campaigns make a beer taste better. Perhaps you’re mouthing your words as you read this.”

I’ve always noticed these ridiculous advertisements but they never really bothered me before because they were either pretty darn funny or I was too young to care.

Growing Up and Upset

As I grow older and meet more people who drink beer, I become more and more surprised at just how much Americans are brainwashed by the big beer industry (I use the word “big” as in money not as in full-bodied).

Eric and I started this web site to spread the word about craft brewed beers, but in no way did I know how important our quest could end up being. Granted, there are a lot of people breaking into better beers, but not enough, and not fast enough!

Dissecting the Big Beer Industry

I know that big brewers like Anheuser-Busch are in business to make money, but do they have to do so by preying on a largely beer-ignorant American society? Anheuser-Busch would say yes, I would say no — but I guess that’s easier said than done.

Maybe these beer juggernauts should actually drink their products, then maybe they’d stop putting experimental, genetically engineered rice strains in Budweiser!

Enough ranting, coming up next are some examples of annoying beer industry commercials, advertisements, and slogans…

Recent Beer Ads

Below are some examples of ridiculous propaganda I could think of off the top of my head at 4:15am on Tuesday night. Enjoy!

Anheuser-Busch — This is Budweiser. This is Beer.

I can here everyone singing this song as they read this — I know I was when I wrote this section. Sad huh? Remember, Budweiser does NOT define beer and it’s beach wood aging doesn’t do all that they want you to think it does!

Coors Brewing Company — Coors: The Banquet Beer

Same thing here with the last one, I know that you’re singing that damn song right now! The song talks about not changing while everything else around you does. The hook is that you should stick with your trusty Coors Original. Bad idea guys. Coors Original isn’t even on the list of the top 10 best selling beers in the US, but Coors wishes it was. Don’t let it happen!

Miller Brewing Company — More Taste League

These commercials are the successor to the ineffective Miller Lite Men of the Square Table commercials and are equally annoying. I love John C. McGinley (The guy from Platoon, Office Space, and Scrubs), but enough already!

Miller Brewing Company — Brewed for a Man’s Taste

Are you flippin kidding me? If you think Milwaukee’s Best Light defines a man’s taste then you’re sadly mistaken! Get a grip on reality. If you want something “manly” then please get a shot of whiskey or something comparable.

The list could go on forever. These type of commercials know no bounds. Just about every beer you see on TV has some ridiculous slogan or claim behind it. Michelob claims that it’s brewed for a connoisseur’s taste. Really? I didn’t know people were serving that at beer tastings. Amstel Light claims that it’s “the beer drinker’s light beer.” That’s news to me. And Corona claims that it’s “miles away from ordinary.” More like, “miles away from good.” I know you have some on the tip of your tongue. Leave a comment and voice your anger!

In Closing

Is good beer too much to handle for you? Do you think Yuengling is too hoppy? (I know people who think this.) Well, I know that when I drink a beer, I want flavor. Oh you don’t? Booo to you. Why not order a glass of water? Water is much cheaper than that $3.00 Coors Light. Or, you can always order a $10.00 martini. The choice is yours.

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• Fruit in Beer?